It's difficult to get a sense for what it means to be an American man. I look around me and I see men of all kinds, and I wonder if they're being pressured to conform to a standard or if I'm projecting an image upon them. I do see a lot of stereotype creation, cultivation, and fulfillment of male characters in television. Below are two of the boys from the CW show 90210. They're supposed to be sophomores in college, yet they look like 25 year olds who spend all their waking hours not studying but working out, tanning, and highlighting their hair. The actor who plays Teddy (the blonde one) is actually 32! He's two times as old as the character he's playing on the show. Liam's character is played by a 27 year old! Sophomore year of high school most boys are still small and shrimpy, they still haven't developed completely. What does it tell them and tell teenage girls about how a sophomore in high school should look? These men are really buff. They're conventionally attractive, with blue eyes and monstrous biceps, but they aren't high school athletes who jog around the lax field for an hour and a half per day, they're full grown men.

These boys aren't boys, they're men. This makes me think that American boys are expected to be men at an early age, and American men are expected to be even more manlier. There is one sensitive boy on 90210. He started out as the hopeless virgin who by some strike of luck, gets seduced by the hottest girl in school. It just so happens that this girl is pregnant with another persons baby, and he has a lot of money to pay for her hospital bills. He's a nice guy, but he's also loaded. He's expected to care for his pregnant girlfriend, and makes up for muscle tone with money. He represents another side of manliness in America, a man who can care for a girl using personality and available resources rather than sheer power. To be a man in America is to be able to provide for your woman and children. As Mad Men demonstrates, Don feels like he needs to provide for his wife in many ways, and sacrifices his happiness many times to be with his wife and family. When Betty needs a psychologist, it's a huge crisis of faith. Betty and Don are supposed to be happy, and not need a psychologist. Don is supposed to be able to give her the life she wanted and needed. The same thread of protection of women continues today. Even in the times before 911, American men were expected to provide for their women. They seemed to be more inclined to remember this projected duty and recognize that giving women the ability to free themselves from societal pressures and inequalities in the workplace. In the 90s show Friends, the boys are relaxed and funny and the women hold their own, yet at the end of the day the show is all about love and families. One of them raises a baby with his ex-wife who is now a lesbian. While American men are expected to be able to provide for women, they seem to be encouraged to be selective with the women they choose to provide for.

In high school boys seem to be pressured to treat women unworthy of their attention pretty poorly, and to select women who are small and delicate, ones that they look like they need help or male attention. I wonder if this conflict of expectations is recognized by a lot of boys my age, and how it affects the way they think about themselves, and think about their friends. I see the boys at Andover sometimes balancing these two different ideals. They treat girls with a little less respect than would be nice ,yet put a lot of pressure on themselves to do well in school and athletics. I've heard boys in one of my classes worry out loud about college, letting their guards down, and then immediately covering it up with a snide comment or just falling completely quiet.

I'm not sure when boys are expected to start "protecting" or providing for girls. In 90210, the 16 year old nice guy takes care of his pregnant girlfriend, while the other two buff boys surf on the beach and use the girls on the show. Occasionally a serious relationship crops up, but almost always it ends in a cheating scandal or a fight over growing apart. Relationships on the show are intensely cliched, with the boy being disinterested, and the girl completely obsessed. There's a fourth male character on the show, Ethan, who plays a part in between buff and disinterested and care-for-your-pregnant-girlfriend. He tries to be nice to girls, but can't quite succeed as he goes through relationships very quickly. Interestingly enough, his body type falls in between buff and scrawny, emphasizing further his place on the show.

While Ethan demonstrates that it is possible for a guy on the show to get lots of girls by being nice, he ends up leaving a trail of heartbreak in his wake. His niceness causes girls to fall for him, but in the end of the day, he's just a guy, and he gets distracted and moves on to the next girl. His character was also removed from the show midway through a season, so the whole nice guy who gets girls thing didn't really stick. All these character types can be found in most popular teen show, especially those on this network. They teach guys that nice guys end up caring for another guys' baby, while buff, disinterested guys get to surf a lot and hang out with pretty girls.